PsYcHo-DeLiC nEwS

VILLAGERS STORM POST OFFICE WITH PITCH FORKS AND TORCHES

And so it beings, as the calendar prepares to flip toward September, the smell of school opening is in the air. In neighborhoods, hundreds, nay thousands, nay, millions of youngsters, tween agers, and teen-agers prepare for the curious adventure known as school. So some it is a creative paradise of ideas, ideals, expressions, people, of growth and opportunity. To others, school can be a bit more challenging and not so memorable. But the excitement of learning can enable the children to dream of a better place and give them to foundation to do it.

A series of events, like a pebble cast upon a pond, causes ripples. This is one such story, which happened in a tiny community in the Garden State.

Behind it all, is the callous disregard the school district shows towards the parents, and by extension the students. All they wanted is to know who their children’s teachers were so they could get ready for school. Each grade, and each teacher, requires specific materials, as directed by the testing of the year to check competencies. (We should be checking for creativity, problem solving, imagination, and the arts; instead we look for benchmarks that have been prepared by administrators who are sitting on their best intentions, but that’s another story.) The schools don’t want to deal with the outcry of parents, who work to pay their very salaries. And due to a mistake, not caught by postal carrier (who was covering the route for the regular letter carrier), a tray of mail was mislaid. Numerous calls to the confused and befuddled Postmaster, who never received more than 2 calls in any day, threw the office into a state of manic, unfocused energy, and as a result, the mail was unfound, but more importantly, undelivered.

Jamie Quirk was not one to take things quietly. She was head of a powerful block association that gathers every morning, to discuss the state of affairs. She was not pleased. The temporary deliverer of the mail said there was a tray of mail missing and drove feverously off, in the direction of the Post Office, to locate aforementioned tray. She had returned, to deliver the junk mail, and said they (hopefully meaning the infamous mail police) were investigating.

Jamie called once, explained the situation, in a calm and direct Staten Island way, and expected something to be done directly also. She then informed the rest of her organization of her progress.

LATER ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON

There was no further delivery of mail. At 5pm, as detectives were later able to determine, another call was received at the Post Office. Jamie, once again, explained the situation. The person at the other end of the phone had no idea that this was going on! Jamie was told not to worry. We’re the Post Office”, said the official confidently and then she quoted the Greek historian, Herodotus, "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these courageous couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds".

SATURDAY

Every one on the quiet street was anxiously awaiting the mail. People were walking past their living room windows more than usual, peering out. Some kept walking out toward the mail box, walking slowly back, shaking their heads, empty-handed.

Jamie had to know what was going on. In addition to involving her husband, she kept calling other members and their husbands into getting involved. All the men wanted to do, was, well, that’s another story, but, none the less, they were being slowly dragged in.

Around 1:47pm, as the puzzle was being put together later, the white truck pulled onto the block. It crept up the block, up to each house, going up the hill, toward the sun. The sound of the engine grew louder, as it came down the hill. As it turned the corner, husbands ran down the hill, with Mr. Mac Murphy sustaining a rather large, purplish blacktop burn due to sliding on the slick pavement. The sudden stop of hitting the telephone pole didn’t help, as he managed to slide hip first into it. The medics have said he will be cleared to come home in a few days, after the wound has been cleaned and dressed. As a precaution, he is being flown by helicopter to Special Hospital For Surgery.

The Post Master was on his private 32 ft baby, coasting up down from Seaside towards Point Pleasant, unaware he was part of a National News Story. For Jamie, was not one to be trifled with. She was not Block President for nothing. And she had an army behind her. When her husband went to work, so did she.

She called the women and their families over for a BBQ. Her plan was to wine and dine them, as her prowess in the kitchen was legendary. She called up a few baby sitters, so the parents could listen, as she told them of the next move in the chess match, and the ultimate goal. To get the mail, and the legendary school letter which held the promise of creative learning and endless discussions over homework, such as why do we have so much, why can’t I do it later, why do my teachers hate me, and the ever famous, but so and so mom’s says she doesn’t have to finish it all, why then oh why I do I. But that’s another story.

A few of the husbands, Air, Sky, The Kid brought over their favorite liquid lubrications, which should never be mixed together, and Jamie, being a former mixologist at Studio 54, was cooking up Fuzzy Navels, Slo Gin Fizzes, and Alabama Slammers. By dusk, the crowd, which grew to include the parents of the surrounding blocks, do what unruly crowds do, when faced with such a crisis in the lives of their precious kids.

They went into garages and into their sheds. They raided patios and decks. They headed toward Target, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Lowe’s and Home Depot. They headed to local hardware stores, who all believed that Christmas had come in August. And they bought, took, stole, and acquired all the Tiki torches and pitch forks in the land. And they headed down the block together like never before, to the Post Office they go. Also lost in all of this, was the voice of reason.

SUNDAY MORNING

The road would have to be closed till morning, due to the massive clean up. The Sheriff wanted to ask for volunteers, but most of the possible recruits were lying on the ground, soaking wet, face down, in the mud, handcuffed and didn’t seem inclined to help. A few were over by the ambulances, being treated for various scrapes and abrasions. Sally Jenkins was bring treated for broken ribs, as the force of the water through the fire hose caused her to fly into The Kid, who slammed into a parked car, where he injured his back. He was lying in the ambulance, helping himself to the Nitrous Oxide they had taken instead of the oxygen tank.

The pitch forks were stacked in piles and burned by the few torches still let. The rest lie smoldering on the battlefield. It was a rather easy victory for the Police. A few smart parents dropped their torches and ran when they were asked tp stand down by the 6ft 7inc, former starting offensive tackle for the local football team and most intimidating officer on the force. The rest chanting, “We want our bloody school letters”, kept marching. The shit hit the fan when Jamie, who had had enough with being “madam-ed” by Chief of Police Tinkler, lit his uniform jacket on fire, by putting the touch to the back of it. Fire Marshall Bill turned the hoses on The Chief and Jamie. Then the gathered throng rushed forward with all the calm and rational thinking of a European Soccer crowd.

As there was no damage done to the facility, or any officer harmed, except for the Chief who is recovering from second degree ass-burns and has to sit on a do-nut for the next 6 weeks. No charges were filed, however Jamie was stripped of her title and cannot even participate in the school annual Baking Cookoff and Sale. Thus, did die her plans to storm the Offices of the Superintendent and all schools, while chanting,

“We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.”

And all of this happened to avoid interaction with the taxpayers and a mistake, since the mail tray was found; it was switched with a tray of outgoing mail and went back to a central facility. It was delivered, on time, to each home early Monday afternoon.

A Brick Bandits Interview: A Few Minutes With Darnell Stapleton

Darnell Stapleton Super Bowl Champion with Mike V. CEO Brick Bandits

When you first meet Darnell Stapleton, you meet a young man who is deeply committed to his community, be it his hometown of Union, NJ, or his teammates out in Pittsburgh. A graduate of Union High School in 2003 and of Rutgers University, where he earned a BA in Labor Studies and Management, his road to NFL success has not been easy. An un-drafted free agent who had “8 or 9 teams call after the draft, looking to sign me”, he chose the Pittsburgh Steelers. Through hard work, attention to details and a commitment to his dreams, he was the starter at Right Guard for the Super Bowl Champions.

Mike V, CEO of Brick Bandits talked about how he first met Darnell when they moved in down the block. “He was the first neighbor who came over to meet us. He told us, if we needed anything to talk to him.” This impressed Mike because the spirit of neighbor, of being a part of the community, is one of the driving forces of Brick Bandits.

Darnell is a role model and it a role that suits him. He spends the off-season in the home he grew up in, going to elementary schools in the area and talking to the kids. His message is a simple, yet powerful one, “never give up on yourself.” As a student, Darnell’s favorite subject was Math and his favorite teachers were his gym teachers, who, in his words, “took care of me.”

After High school and before his time at Rutgers, he attended Hudson Valley Community College to “get his grades straight” since he wanted to attend a Division 1 school. This dedication to education shows he values developing his mind as well as his football skills.

When asked about his NFL career, he is very humble. He spoke about how Center Jeff Hartings helped him in his first year learn about life as a Professional Football player. As a rookie, he had to do the usual stuff, like carry the vet’s pads during training camp, buying breakfast for his fellow lineman on Saturdays, and paying for dinner at the end of the season,. (“I dropped about $15,000.00 on that meal”, he chuckled). He has met former Pro-Bowl Center Dermontti Dawson (one his favorite players) and Mel Blount. When asked about the past Steelers, he said the attitude is “once a Steeler, always a Steeler”, so the players from the past are always there, willing to talk to the players and help them out with words of advice and encouragement.

And here are a few bricks that make him who he is:

Favorite Foods: Gyro’s Pizza and Burger King (Double Whopper with Cheese, no onions)

Favorite Music: Rap, R&B, and Reggee (“ I find it very relaxing”), and will listen to anything. As he pointed out, his teammates come from all over the US and everyone exposes each other to what their favorites are

Favorite Movies: “Coming To America” & “The Last Dragon”

Favorite Toy Growing Up: Nintendo, especially the Duck Hunt Game and Track & Field, with the finger pads

Favorite Superhero: Superman (who is also Mike V’s favorite)

4 People from History who he’d like to have dinner with:
President Obama
Dermontti Dawson
Martin Luther King Jr.
His Grandmother on his father’s side (“I never met her, as she passed before I was born”, he said. “I want to find out about what they had to go through and how they did it.” He is very close to his other Grandma, who calls him with words of encouragement and is an inspiration to him.)

Hobbies during the Season: Video Games

In The Off-Season : Video Games and Golf (I’m hooked on Golf. Ping set me up with custom clubs (due to his size). I like the game because you can play like trash one day and the next, I got an eagle & a birdie.”)

As for the future, he’d like to get into coaching once his career is over (hopefully a long time from now). And even though he did not give a reason, it would be safe to say that as a student of the game, it would be his way to help others and be a part of the game he loves to play.

What We Used To Know

"COMMON SENSE IS THE MOST UNCOMMON SENSE OF ALL"

I must have missed the memo. Somewhere along the line, it became acceptable to be totally self-centered. It became ok to not hold doors open, to say “please” or “thank you”, to answer the phone with “whatta ya want” rather than “hello”, to forget about common courtesy. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. We could talk about the disrespectful ways that kids talk to parents and the way some parents respond back (my favorite is I’m gonna beat your a** when we get home).

What, it’s not ok? So I didn’t miss the memo or misread it. But if it isn’t ok, why is it happening more and more. Let’s take a look at 2 specific examples and see where the solution could be.

Two people are walking side by side down the street. Each is engrossed in their own little world due to the magic of wireless communication. Their gestures become grander and more animated as their volume rises and the tone of their voice grows confrontational. They bump into each other and exchange angry looks, since each believes the other to be rude and not paying attention to the surroundings. They try to eavesdrop on the argument the other is having on the phone, while conducting one themselves, and getting ready to start a new one. Because you are “getting in my business” while on a public street, yelling and carrying on.

Does this seem familiar? You can have this experience EVERY DAY, in the parking lot, in the malls, walking down the street. It doesn’t matter where, because it’s everywhere. This is such a total lack of common sense and common courtesy that it would be funny if it wasn’t tragic. The common sense part is easy to see. If you don’t want people in YOUR business, don’t discuss it over the phone where people can HEAR you. Find a quiet spot where you can sit down and talk. And just because the phone rings, doesn’t mean we have to drop everything and answer it.

When you’re checking out and the cashier is on their private phone, talking and not paying attention to you, the customer, you have a right to be upset. I see people leave shopping carts full of merchandise and walk out when they are treated rudely. The cashier always says it was “an important call” and they “had to take it”. But you are being paid to provide a service. Phones have this wonderful feature known as voice mail. This way you can return the call at your convenience and not inconvenience others with your selfish behavior.

The examples of a lack of common courtesy are just as numerous. Flailing your arms, knocking into people, talking loudly and aggressively in a crowd by acting with an over blown sense of self importance, inappropriate language, and a general disregard for others are apparent for others to experience.

Then there is my personal favorite example of inappropriate behaviors, elevators and bus stops. In each case you have one group of people, who are in a small, confined area trying to get out. There is a second group, who are trying to get into said small space. Common sense should tell you that people have to get out before you can get in, right. Then why do people crowd around the doorway, preventing people from exiting? Common courtesy should tell you to back up, out of the way, so there will be room.

It boils down to manners. The decline in interactive skills is due to the changing nature of our lifestyles. We are becoming more solitary, spending less time developing new relationships with our neighbors, while finding new excuses went we haven’t called our BFF in two years. As we stop interacting with people, we forget the little things and thus, our interaction suffers.

Building Success Habits

Every year it’s the same thing as we reflect on what we did and what we accomplished. Then, with pen in hand, we write our list of resolutions, of changes we’d like to make in the next 12 months. The health club parking lots, which are filled to capacity in January, have no shortage of spaces by March. The kick the cigarette pledge is gone at the first sign of stress.

Breaking a habit or creating a new one takes 28 days of work, a relatively short period of time but not to the person making who’s trying to change. Change is the one area of our lives that we struggle with, even though it is inevitable. By planning and hard work, we can develop a plan for change and improvement. Here are a few success habits that we can make our own in 2008.

1. You wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car without directions, so why drive your career into the ground?
Achievers write out a list of goals, broken up into long term and short term, to focus their energies on the important. This is a habit we can get into. Our long term goal is to find a new career. In the short term, we have to research the field we want to get into, gather information about the companies we want to work for and contact our network for leads, ideas, and advise. Next comes crafting a resume, writing an effective cover letter, and preparing for those interview questions. By creating a list of goals, we are better able to stay on the right path and get to where we want to go.

2. Turn off the TV and turn on your mind.
Or to look at it another way, learning is earning. By reading 15 minutes a day, we are exposed to new ideas and are improving our communication skills. By taking a class, we are able to try something new, learn a skill, earn a certificate, and develop a hobby or interest into a moneymaking endeavor. But when the TV is on, all attention is drawn to it like moths to a flame. So instead of reading the TV Guide, look for something of interest or for some career information. It will pay off in the long run.

3. Dream
Dream? What do you mean dream? I dream when I sleep, right. So why should I have to dream. It is our dreams that guide and inspire us. Make a collage of what you want, showing pictures of places you want to live, cars you want to drive, and stuff you want to buy. This will help you to see the potential rewards of your hard work and effort.

4. Be a friend, make a friend.
No man is an island. We need people to talk to, to help and help us, to guide and to guide us. As we grow up and move on in life, we need new people to encourage and inspire us. By joining clubs or organizations that interest us, we will meet new people, who we can add to our contact lists.

CHANGES

“Things do not change. We do.” H.D. Thoreau

If there is one constant in life, one thing that occurs, that we have no power over, is change. Change happens whether we want it or not. Sometimes we are agents of change and then there are those times where we are its pawn.

Change is inevitable.

It signals challenges to be overcome, opportunities to learn and discover new things. It happens. And the only part of this entire process that we can have control over, is how we handle change.

The funny part of all of this is that change is a constant companion to our life. We deal with changes in attitudes, changes of thoughts; it appears in the clothes we wear, music we listen to, shows we watch. It is part of the fabric of the workplace, with new employees coming while others are going, either upward or out the door. There is always a new improved plan, to replace the last new and improved plan. The computer changes how we perform our jobs, but even then, it changes. New software, flat screens, faster connection to information, more information about any topic we can think of is at our fingertips.

Yet we treat change as an enemy, as something to fear. We are hesitant to embrace change, mostly because it is the unknown, but also because it is different. Instead of treating the differences as an opportunity to learn, to grow and develop new talents, ideas and skills, we hunker down and draw a line in the sand. For that’s all it is, an imaginary wall build to ward off the prospect of change.

We change tires, change our socks, change the channel, change our hairdo, change diapers, change our address, change our number, change our mind, change our friends, but accept change, well, that’s another story.

But we can beat change at its own game.

We can embrace it! We can learn from it, and inevitably profit from it. We can use change to grow new opportunities, to be exposed to new ideas, new experiences, which will help us further develop our talents. And the chances to step out of our shells, get off our best intentions, and DO.

See, here is the secret. We change a bit every day. We are exposed to new people, new sounds, new ideas, new books, and bit by bit, we are not the same person we were last week, last month, or last year. Because all living things change. It’s a part of life.

Finding A Home In Non-Profits

“I am a jack of all trades kind of person, with a variety of interests, skills, and talents. Is there a place for me in today’s workforce?”

Want to love what you do? Make a difference? Learn about people and yourself in the process? Are you an encourager? Are you emphatic? If this sounds like you, there is a great place to find your niche and those challenging opportunities for personal and professional growth and development, work for a Non-Profit.

Yes, the wonderful, rewarding realm of the Non-Profits could be just the ticket. These are organizations designed to help, either people or causes, in some way, shape or form and come in a variety of opportunities. Social Service agencies, local, county, state, and federal government positions, and public education are places to consider.

The benefits of working at non-government social service organizations are as numerous as the types of positions that are available. Most of these agencies consist of a small, versatile, dedicated staff that is committed to an ideal. No, you don’t have to drink the kool-aid to join; just care, show up, and be accountable. These are the types of careers that are worth more than a paycheck. They are a way to make a positive difference by giving people a hand up. Being lean, these agencies value flexibility, the ability to multi-task, and the willingness and ability to learn on the fly. They look for problem solvers who can think outside of the box and be up to trying new ideas to resolve problems.

The government is one of the largest non-profit employers. True, most of us do not think of the government as a non-profit, but it is what it is. The role of government, on every level, is to provide services to its citizens. These services run the gamut from accounting to Zoology, from Law Enforcement to Forestry, from, well, you get the idea. And in terms of a benefits package, the government, especially state and federal employees, is not to be sneezed at. This is a field that relies on people who want to serve and is always on the lookout for talented individuals. Yes, you do have to jump through more hoops, and the pay in the private sector is higher, but there is a dignity, a feeling of pride, in working for the government.

Public Education is a great place to explore when looking for the right work “home”. Classroom teachers rely on creativity and effective communication skills to impart knowledge to their students. With summers off as the primary perk, life in the classroom means being organized, observant, understanding, and being prepared are essential for learning to occur. And if you have the ability to remain calm under stress, and think not only on your feet but outside of the box as well, will mean you are one of those teachers who your students will remember.

And teaching is only one career opportunity in this field. There are numerous positions in administration, food service, maintenance, medicine, support staff, and transportation, which insure our children are taken care of properly and are ready to compete.

The real impact of Non-Profits is in community based organizations. Most of these organizations were founded by people who saw a need and filled it. These could be support groups, which provide someone to listen, to empathize, and to inform. They are environmental groups who fight for the “greater good” by making people aware of what is going on and who are not afraid of getting their hands dirty to help clean up the mess.

So if you want a career where you can make a positive difference, help your community, help others, and get that warm glow of accomplishment in your heart, look into careers at Non-Profits. All you touch will be glad you did.

Just What Is It You're Trying To Say

“What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Cool Hand Luke

When I sat down to write this article about the importance of Communication Skills in the 21st century workplace, you would think that this story would write itself. It seems like an easy idea to explain. Just look at all the different ways we have to get a message out; TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, billboards, t-shirts, telephone, fax, e-mail, voice mail, a memo, reports, the way we dress, the tone of voice, body language, choice of words, but how to approach this subject.

As with any broad based topic, we need a place to start. Going to a handy dictionary, this was the definition that was written; Communication is an act or instance of transmitting information. The key here is passing along information. And the more effective we are, the better opportunities for career advancement and growth will appear.

When most of us think about this topic, we think of the spoken word. And one thing we learn, is that there is more to this than meets the ear. The tone of voice, pace, diction and the words we choose play into whether or not our message is understood (not just heard). Good communication allows others to hear the message and pass it on. Knowing who your audience is and the reason why you are talking to them enables you to focus the message so the person you’re talking to can not only “hear’ but understand what exactly is being communicated.

To help strengthen this part of communication, the key is to listen. Listen to a reporter or an education\nature program. Hear how people use words to describe events and ideas. Then, talk to someone about what you heard. Put the information into your own words so you can understand it first. Then, pass the knowledge along. Listen to what the listener is saying so you can try to hear what they heard. Make sure that both parties have an understanding of the idea and build on it. Listening is a passive skill that pays a HUGE dividend. To be able to solve a problem, one needs to listen to the details, the story behind the event. Asking questions, repeating back what was said, allows you to see where the problem lies and sometimes offers simple solutions. There is an old saying, “we have 2 ears and one mouth and they should be used in proportion”. Listen twice as much as you talk.

The most intimidating and therefore uncomfortable way of Communicating is by the written word. Brevity, the right choice of analogies, and the words chosen paint a picture. Great writing is an art, but good, effective writing, delivering information in an easy to understand way, is what communications are all about. Pace and flow are important, but spelling and grammar more so. With spell check, dictionaries, and thesauruses at arm’s reach, there is only 1 excuse for mistakes of this type, carelessness. When you take your time and put the effort into developing your writing skills, it is an investment in yourself.

And how do you develop this skill? By writing, of course. Yes, you have to sit down with a pen and paper (or sit in front of a computer) and write something. Get used to writing again. Write out instructions on how to make ice cubes or do laundry. Look at how you present each step. Make sure the key points are covered. Use easily understood words. Let someone else read it and see if they can follow your instructions.

Reading is a very important aspect of strengthening Communication skills. As you read, you begin to see how others generate an idea clearly. You can learn how to use words better and develop your vocabulary.

We communicate in many different ways. Each brings a dimension, a depth to the information, such as its importance and how we recall and use it. Like most skills, you can make it stronger thru practice. The clearer you can get to the point and make it successfully, will determine the opportunities your future will hold.