"COMMON SENSE IS THE MOST UNCOMMON SENSE OF ALL"
I must have missed the memo. Somewhere along the line, it became acceptable to be totally self-centered. It became ok to not hold doors open, to say “please” or “thank you”, to answer the phone with “whatta ya want” rather than “hello”, to forget about common courtesy. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. We could talk about the disrespectful ways that kids talk to parents and the way some parents respond back (my favorite is I’m gonna beat your a** when we get home).
What, it’s not ok? So I didn’t miss the memo or misread it. But if it isn’t ok, why is it happening more and more. Let’s take a look at 2 specific examples and see where the solution could be.
Two people are walking side by side down the street. Each is engrossed in their own little world due to the magic of wireless communication. Their gestures become grander and more animated as their volume rises and the tone of their voice grows confrontational. They bump into each other and exchange angry looks, since each believes the other to be rude and not paying attention to the surroundings. They try to eavesdrop on the argument the other is having on the phone, while conducting one themselves, and getting ready to start a new one. Because you are “getting in my business” while on a public street, yelling and carrying on.
Does this seem familiar? You can have this experience EVERY DAY, in the parking lot, in the malls, walking down the street. It doesn’t matter where, because it’s everywhere. This is such a total lack of common sense and common courtesy that it would be funny if it wasn’t tragic. The common sense part is easy to see. If you don’t want people in YOUR business, don’t discuss it over the phone where people can HEAR you. Find a quiet spot where you can sit down and talk. And just because the phone rings, doesn’t mean we have to drop everything and answer it.
When you’re checking out and the cashier is on their private phone, talking and not paying attention to you, the customer, you have a right to be upset. I see people leave shopping carts full of merchandise and walk out when they are treated rudely. The cashier always says it was “an important call” and they “had to take it”. But you are being paid to provide a service. Phones have this wonderful feature known as voice mail. This way you can return the call at your convenience and not inconvenience others with your selfish behavior.
The examples of a lack of common courtesy are just as numerous. Flailing your arms, knocking into people, talking loudly and aggressively in a crowd by acting with an over blown sense of self importance, inappropriate language, and a general disregard for others are apparent for others to experience.
Then there is my personal favorite example of inappropriate behaviors, elevators and bus stops. In each case you have one group of people, who are in a small, confined area trying to get out. There is a second group, who are trying to get into said small space. Common sense should tell you that people have to get out before you can get in, right. Then why do people crowd around the doorway, preventing people from exiting? Common courtesy should tell you to back up, out of the way, so there will be room.
It boils down to manners. The decline in interactive skills is due to the changing nature of our lifestyles. We are becoming more solitary, spending less time developing new relationships with our neighbors, while finding new excuses went we haven’t called our BFF in two years. As we stop interacting with people, we forget the little things and thus, our interaction suffers.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Building Success Habits
Every year it’s the same thing as we reflect on what we did and what we accomplished. Then, with pen in hand, we write our list of resolutions, of changes we’d like to make in the next 12 months. The health club parking lots, which are filled to capacity in January, have no shortage of spaces by March. The kick the cigarette pledge is gone at the first sign of stress.
Breaking a habit or creating a new one takes 28 days of work, a relatively short period of time but not to the person making who’s trying to change. Change is the one area of our lives that we struggle with, even though it is inevitable. By planning and hard work, we can develop a plan for change and improvement. Here are a few success habits that we can make our own in 2008.
1. You wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car without directions, so why drive your career into the ground?
Achievers write out a list of goals, broken up into long term and short term, to focus their energies on the important. This is a habit we can get into. Our long term goal is to find a new career. In the short term, we have to research the field we want to get into, gather information about the companies we want to work for and contact our network for leads, ideas, and advise. Next comes crafting a resume, writing an effective cover letter, and preparing for those interview questions. By creating a list of goals, we are better able to stay on the right path and get to where we want to go.
2. Turn off the TV and turn on your mind.
Or to look at it another way, learning is earning. By reading 15 minutes a day, we are exposed to new ideas and are improving our communication skills. By taking a class, we are able to try something new, learn a skill, earn a certificate, and develop a hobby or interest into a moneymaking endeavor. But when the TV is on, all attention is drawn to it like moths to a flame. So instead of reading the TV Guide, look for something of interest or for some career information. It will pay off in the long run.
3. Dream
Dream? What do you mean dream? I dream when I sleep, right. So why should I have to dream. It is our dreams that guide and inspire us. Make a collage of what you want, showing pictures of places you want to live, cars you want to drive, and stuff you want to buy. This will help you to see the potential rewards of your hard work and effort.
4. Be a friend, make a friend.
No man is an island. We need people to talk to, to help and help us, to guide and to guide us. As we grow up and move on in life, we need new people to encourage and inspire us. By joining clubs or organizations that interest us, we will meet new people, who we can add to our contact lists.
Breaking a habit or creating a new one takes 28 days of work, a relatively short period of time but not to the person making who’s trying to change. Change is the one area of our lives that we struggle with, even though it is inevitable. By planning and hard work, we can develop a plan for change and improvement. Here are a few success habits that we can make our own in 2008.
1. You wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car without directions, so why drive your career into the ground?
Achievers write out a list of goals, broken up into long term and short term, to focus their energies on the important. This is a habit we can get into. Our long term goal is to find a new career. In the short term, we have to research the field we want to get into, gather information about the companies we want to work for and contact our network for leads, ideas, and advise. Next comes crafting a resume, writing an effective cover letter, and preparing for those interview questions. By creating a list of goals, we are better able to stay on the right path and get to where we want to go.
2. Turn off the TV and turn on your mind.
Or to look at it another way, learning is earning. By reading 15 minutes a day, we are exposed to new ideas and are improving our communication skills. By taking a class, we are able to try something new, learn a skill, earn a certificate, and develop a hobby or interest into a moneymaking endeavor. But when the TV is on, all attention is drawn to it like moths to a flame. So instead of reading the TV Guide, look for something of interest or for some career information. It will pay off in the long run.
3. Dream
Dream? What do you mean dream? I dream when I sleep, right. So why should I have to dream. It is our dreams that guide and inspire us. Make a collage of what you want, showing pictures of places you want to live, cars you want to drive, and stuff you want to buy. This will help you to see the potential rewards of your hard work and effort.
4. Be a friend, make a friend.
No man is an island. We need people to talk to, to help and help us, to guide and to guide us. As we grow up and move on in life, we need new people to encourage and inspire us. By joining clubs or organizations that interest us, we will meet new people, who we can add to our contact lists.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
CHANGES
“Things do not change. We do.” H.D. Thoreau
If there is one constant in life, one thing that occurs, that we have no power over, is change. Change happens whether we want it or not. Sometimes we are agents of change and then there are those times where we are its pawn.
Change is inevitable.
It signals challenges to be overcome, opportunities to learn and discover new things. It happens. And the only part of this entire process that we can have control over, is how we handle change.
The funny part of all of this is that change is a constant companion to our life. We deal with changes in attitudes, changes of thoughts; it appears in the clothes we wear, music we listen to, shows we watch. It is part of the fabric of the workplace, with new employees coming while others are going, either upward or out the door. There is always a new improved plan, to replace the last new and improved plan. The computer changes how we perform our jobs, but even then, it changes. New software, flat screens, faster connection to information, more information about any topic we can think of is at our fingertips.
Yet we treat change as an enemy, as something to fear. We are hesitant to embrace change, mostly because it is the unknown, but also because it is different. Instead of treating the differences as an opportunity to learn, to grow and develop new talents, ideas and skills, we hunker down and draw a line in the sand. For that’s all it is, an imaginary wall build to ward off the prospect of change.
We change tires, change our socks, change the channel, change our hairdo, change diapers, change our address, change our number, change our mind, change our friends, but accept change, well, that’s another story.
But we can beat change at its own game.
We can embrace it! We can learn from it, and inevitably profit from it. We can use change to grow new opportunities, to be exposed to new ideas, new experiences, which will help us further develop our talents. And the chances to step out of our shells, get off our best intentions, and DO.
See, here is the secret. We change a bit every day. We are exposed to new people, new sounds, new ideas, new books, and bit by bit, we are not the same person we were last week, last month, or last year. Because all living things change. It’s a part of life.
If there is one constant in life, one thing that occurs, that we have no power over, is change. Change happens whether we want it or not. Sometimes we are agents of change and then there are those times where we are its pawn.
Change is inevitable.
It signals challenges to be overcome, opportunities to learn and discover new things. It happens. And the only part of this entire process that we can have control over, is how we handle change.
The funny part of all of this is that change is a constant companion to our life. We deal with changes in attitudes, changes of thoughts; it appears in the clothes we wear, music we listen to, shows we watch. It is part of the fabric of the workplace, with new employees coming while others are going, either upward or out the door. There is always a new improved plan, to replace the last new and improved plan. The computer changes how we perform our jobs, but even then, it changes. New software, flat screens, faster connection to information, more information about any topic we can think of is at our fingertips.
Yet we treat change as an enemy, as something to fear. We are hesitant to embrace change, mostly because it is the unknown, but also because it is different. Instead of treating the differences as an opportunity to learn, to grow and develop new talents, ideas and skills, we hunker down and draw a line in the sand. For that’s all it is, an imaginary wall build to ward off the prospect of change.
We change tires, change our socks, change the channel, change our hairdo, change diapers, change our address, change our number, change our mind, change our friends, but accept change, well, that’s another story.
But we can beat change at its own game.
We can embrace it! We can learn from it, and inevitably profit from it. We can use change to grow new opportunities, to be exposed to new ideas, new experiences, which will help us further develop our talents. And the chances to step out of our shells, get off our best intentions, and DO.
See, here is the secret. We change a bit every day. We are exposed to new people, new sounds, new ideas, new books, and bit by bit, we are not the same person we were last week, last month, or last year. Because all living things change. It’s a part of life.
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